This is something that most people think of in swinging as only affecting the men. Here they are ready to play with some new woman, a woman they have wanted for hours, month's or even years, and just when everything is falling into place and it's time to perform they can't. How many times have we seen this, or had it happen to us. I know I've seen it plenty, and the thing is it's not the guys fault, and it's not the girls fault either. I mentioned earlier that this affects more than the men, and it does because women have the same problem, it's just not physically visible. Usually with us it's shows itself in that we aren't able to cum.

What causes this? you ask. Simple, not being comfortable in your environment. In a normal dating relationship you don't have sex with a person until you are comfortable with them, this might be the first date, or it might be 3 months later, at any rate, by the time you get around to swinging you are definately comfortable with your partner. You know what to expect. When it comes to swinging you could be playing with someone you barely know (if at all), that you only met an hour before and haven't really even talked to. How comfortable can you be, completely naked trying to have sex with what is basically a perfect stranger? Ok, so some people can, but most can't.

So what is my advice? The same as my advice has often been. Get to know the person you are with ahead of time, my usual rule is 3 dates (but that's just me). At any rate be comfortable with who you are with. If you aren't comfortable, don't do it (or her or him). If all else fails, there's always viagra.. I hear it's helped many men at least stay hard (but it doesn't help them cum). And hey, remember.. you aren't alone, it's actually quite common.

This should be looked at from another angle as well, a warning so to speak to all the single guys out there who think swinging and group sex would be just SOOO cool. Things are much different in real life than in fantasy.