I really mean what I am saying in the title, I need advice from the "Ladies" on this board and I know there are a lot of you here. I need your advice specifically because that is what I'm married to, a true Lady.

We've been married for a little over 20 years and like all marriages not always perfect and some ups and downs but things are really great over all. For the most part we've had a great sex life and it's beginning to really get great now that the kids are about grown and my wife is becoming more comfortable with herself. That said we are running into a few walls related to the guilt she has at times over delving into the "non-vanilla" areas of sex. Let me explain in as few words as possible, please be patient.

For the most part the Mrs has always been a bit of an introvert and not real outgoing but funny and loveable when you make it inside the halo. Sexual issues have at times been a challenge because of the programming from the religious upbringing that we both had that anything really racy is "dirty." The LS and our desires to enjoy this are no different.

We are fairly new to anything LS related but have pursued it more since her recently confessed bi-desires. I've not pushed this but have tried to help make it available to her by us gearing some of our activities, trips, etc. towards LS related things that would allow her the opportunity to pursue these desires which she will if there is a strong enough attraction and the stars line up right. However, without fail a few days or a week after any of these activities she has a guilt meltdown and feels dirty or evil. I can usually discuss it with her and get her through it and re-assure her she is a good person (which she is) and we will slowly get back to normal but always with a set-back towards enjoying the things we both want and especially what she wants related to the LS.

I'm sure some of you Ladies had to have been through this and just wonder what I can do to help her and let her know that other normal, moral, regular Moms, wives, nurses, teachers, etc. are just like her in their desires and activities. One of the problems we face is that we are in a small, gossipy town (very small actually) and we are the only ones we know amongst our friends/acquaintances of that play at all in the LS and that makes her feel even more like a black sheep. I'm sure there are people we know that are LS active (or bi like her) without our knowledge but our extra need for discretion makes this problem even worse. Sorry to be so windy and thanks in advance for any advice.

We are going to our first hotel party and have been wracking our brains about what to wear. We have asked the few people we know what to wear and they said whatever we are comfortable in. I know they are trying to make us feel welcome, etc., but I am really stressing here. The party, I think, starts off with a social dance kind of thing, then an afterparty. I barely have the social/dance clothes picked out, so I really don't think I will be changing for the afterparty, unless maybe a bathing suit and sarong, since it's by the pool? Ugh, help!

Here is the rundown as of right now :

Him : Nice (by this I mean dark, no holes, tailored) jeans, black belt w/ silver buckle, black leather dress shoes, charcoal buttoned down shirt.

Her (me) : Sexy sleeveless top similar color to his but kind of sparkly; dark, sexy jeans ( again tailored, we are short, lol) black kitten heals, silver necklace, bracelets.

We both have excellent hygine/grooming (I'm a hairstylist, so it's a real pet peeve of mine, lol).

The theme for the club is "sports jerseys and short shorts". Well, let me tell ya we HATE watching sports (but to each their own ;)) so we really didn't want to dress the theme, but were afraid to be too dressed up with him in slacks and another thing is that I DO NOT like to wear dresses. I really have a confidence issue with my legs, (working on it) and just would not feel comfortable in a dress/skirt. And you are probably not ever going to see me in short shorts!! LOL

Whew, that's it, I think. Any suggestions/comments would be GREATLY appreciated!!

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We are fairly new to the lifestyle. I am more comfortable with a couple for a couple. Wifey likes a large party where there are more people to play with. That being said we have only been to 2 clubs a house party and a couple MFM's, 2 soft swaps, no full swap for me yet. So as I said pretty new to this.

We went to a house party last week. I will say the hosts were really relaxed and tried as best they could to make sure we were comfortable and enjoying ourselves. Initially I was having a good time but as the night progressed I became a little uncomfortable and I am not sure why. There should have been 2 other new couples going as they were listed as attending. They never showed. Which meant there were 3 couples (including us) and a single male. From the get go, 2 of the guys were into my wife (nothing wrong with that, she likes the attnetion). After a drink or so it was suggested we all move to the living room where a video was playing. I sat with one of the wives and another guy. While my wife sat with 2 of the guys and another chick, the chick was blowing one of the guys while they both played with m wife. Everyone played for a bit, I made an effort but it was a bit distracting. But trying to go with the flow we soon all go upstairs. At some point there was some non verbal communication between the 2 guys playing with my wife. They have obviously partied alot together. The one getting the BJ escorted my wife to the bedroom, while the other guy had sex with the chick that was doing the BJ downstairs. We got upstairs and I was sorta odd man out. 4 guys, 3 girls. I and another guy were playing with the one wife while her hubby played with mine but it was just too many guys for me, I just drank my beer and was a voyeur while everyone else got busy. Maybe the whole group sex thing is too much to quick.

We all went downstairs and waited an hour or so having drinks waiting to see if any of the other couples were going to show up. Another regular did show up but the it did not do it for me.

Eventually everyone headed to the pool. Wifey did not want to get in and was hanging out by the edge. The other guy approached her from the water and asked if he could go down on her. She was fine with that. A few min go by and the one wife comes over to me but by now I was just not enjoying myself anymore. The initial attraction was gone. I went in to dry off. After a little while the guy going down on my wife asks if he can have sex with her, she says yes but wants to check with me. She goes inside to dry off and hits the restroom. When she comes out the 2 guys are waiting for her. They ask if we are leaving, she says no and they say good, “WE are happy you are staying” (wife told me this part today). The one guys wife was still trying to get me interested but I was just ready to go. I am guessing the 2 guys were trying to get my wife upstairs, (the WE part) to themselves while I was downstairs with the other wife. I will say my wife would have gone up with them, she was having alot more fun than I and as I said before loves the attention. (I could be totally off here and they just were happy to have some new people show up instead of the same ol same ol). She came out to check with me and I told her I was ready to split. We left, calling it a night.

We are new to this and assume there is nothing here out of the ordinary going on for a house party, again the hosts were doing their best to make sure we were having a good time and comfortable. But being short a female just did not do it for me. Being short on females I was attracted to did not do it for me. And the 2 guys both possibly planning on taking wifey upstairs makes me uncomfortable, as well as them maybe being too good at this. I did not get the feeling we all would have gone up stairs. This is not to say I think they were up to no good but I was just uncomfortable. Sorry for being so longwinded, but being new to this something just does not feel right, maybe I am completly off here, which is why I am hoping for some insight into why I am feeling "off" about the whole thing.

ok some of you may remeber me its been awhile since i first posted and me and my wife have come along way in our sexuality. My wife has since opened up to some less than traditional things and our love life has benefited. We recently experienced our first MFM threesome because she was most comfortable with that situation vs FMF or swapping. and while she was nervous at first she ended up really enjoying herself. we are both agreed on doing it again and were interested in any tips as far as DP goes. she has some trouble with discomfort during anal sex primarily due to lube, if we use lube she says it burns and if we dont she is usually fine but not always. so i guess what im looking for is lube recommendations and like a routine as to how to go about starting DP. of course anal for awhile first to get her loosened up, but after that which should orifice should be introduced second? best position? anything and everything you think we should know about DP and the whole MFM experience. thank you for all the help we really appreciate it

PS. I am bi i didnt know if that would change any suggestions or add any new ones about the MFM as a whole but i thought i should add it.

Hi, new to the board new to the swinging thing . Met one couple so far and they are really great but..... That brings me to one of the reasons that I registered. Met up with couple twice. Super nice and funny and my wife had a great time with the man and woman but both times I was unable to perform. I am new to this so I'm asking for a little guidance here. First time jitters I can see that but second time, same thing. Not nervous, felt very comfortable but still nothing, anybody with any advice

we played a game called "sexyparty" when we had couples over.. it was a computer game like monopoly.. not very well made but was good to break the ice..
Do you guys know of any games for swingers?

This is something that sometimes bugs me....


I was invited to a private chat some time ago by a woman on Swing Lifestyle. She told me in the beginning she was in fact married, although her profile was listed as a single female. I asked why, and she told me she was looking for an affair. She said that her husband, had in fact, cheated on her sometime in their past.

This isn't something I have personal experience in, so I told her she should see a professional and maybe take a healthier path. We are pro marriage/relationship and she told me it was her shrink who said she should do this.... ?

I stood the ground that swinging is in no way cheating, and she said many things to follow that leads me to think she was being honest about this coming through her therapy.

She said it would be closure for her, not her relationship, as she had no intentions of getting a divorce, but that this is on a personal level ?

Personally, I think it would be a whole new can of worms to deal with.

What are your thoughts ?

Can someone have a healthy affair, under the guidence of a therapist ?


fun4ds

We love to come up with a few games to play. I just came back from my neighbors back yard, they are away, got naked, jumped in their pool, ran around their back yard naked. Laid down on their longe chair and rubbed myself to orgasm. My husband watched from our window and recorded it all. He is over there now and I am taping him, he is now masturbating, oops, all over their pool deck!

What games do you play when you are by yourselves?

Closetswinger said in another thread: "I have found that swingers are a VERY ACCEPTING, non judgemental (in most ways) group of people." And I have certainly found that to be true.

And there's something about being with other swingers that is so liberating. For most of my life, anyway, I had to hide the fact that I wanted a lot of sex with a lot of different partners, as if it were something shameful. But when I'm in a group of swingers, this side of myself is not only warmly accepted, it's actually seen as something good.

As I tell my partner, her insatiable libido is one of the things I love about her.

Hello, my wife and i are new to this, and we have discussed it many times, our main thought is having a threesome with another male, only female on male no male on male, my question is this, we are both madly in love with each other we have been together for 10 years, married for 9. I am bassically looking for guidance about were to begin, i am currently deployed and cannot do anything right know, but am planning on doing something upon my return to the states. My wife and i differ on a couple of things, she believes that we should have a completely open marriage but she is not willing to share me, no big deal. I think that i have that part taken care off. What i would like to know, is what are some of the steps that we should take in setting our rules and our guidlines, and what are some things that we should do to start out, were do we start i guess is another question. Does anyone have any recomendations?

Thanx Jmc77

So most you you have followed some of our posts know that we just hit our 1 year mark back in May and everyone picks up funny stories when you swing right?

So one of ours starts off as "so how many couples have you run out of the lifestyle?"

Yes, it's meant to be in jest and only after you have had a few drinks and everyone is having fun but the surprising responses are actual numbers. Four, one, :rofl: We have actually had two couples delete their profiles after we slept with them...were we that bad :lol: They just closed shop and disappeared :EG:

(just in case your wondering our thoughts on why, couple one - we think their family found out and they deleted their profiles and repented, lol. Couple two - no real clue).

So how many people have just up and deleted their accounts after an encounter with you? :D

My wife has agreed to having a 3-some with myself and another lady. Neither of the ladies are bi, any hints on how to proceed with this to keep everyone "involved" or busy?